I Painted Myself Naked and Didn’t Die (An Artist’s Journey So Far)

TLDR: ā€œI write about Art, AI, and Mindset—creating the roadmap through my experiences that I wish I'd had as a young artist.ā€

In 2019, I picked up a pen after 20 years of not drawing.

Why the gap? Because when I was 17, my art teacher told me I ā€œcouldn’t draw large scale.ā€ I walked out of class and stopped creating. It’s wild how one sentence can sit on your shoulder like a curse.

Fast-forward two decades, and I’ve painted six murals in my hometown, held solo exhibitions, published a book, exhibited in Berlin, London, and beyond, and received an award from the Luxembourg Art Prize. My work has been sold on Artsy, and I even co-host a podcast (though I’m still a bit shy about interviews).

But I’m not a full-time artist. Not yet.


The Real Work

This is what I wrestle with: the double life of the modern creative. I work in tech and marketing by day, and I paint, write, and draw by night (or early mornings). Like many of you, I ride that weird loop of ā€œI should be grateful for my jobā€ while feeling creatively starved. There’s guilt in wanting more, isn’t there?

And yet, every time I’ve followed the tug — whether it’s painting a giant nude self-portrait (yes, really), or creating art while tethered to a dialysis machine — I’ve found something that feels like truth.


Blue Man & Bloodlines

My art often comes from pain. ā€œBloodlinesā€ was painted during dialysis, a time where my body was cold, my blood was being cleaned by a machine, and I disappeared into a phone screen to survive the four-hour cycles. I painted to process the vulnerability.

ā€œBlue Manā€ came from deep insecurity. After seeing another artist’s nude self-portrait — complete with hyperreal genitals and strange symbolism — I felt triggered. Angry. Jealous. It cracked open years of shame around my body. So I painted myself, naked, scarred, imperfect. And through the process, something softened.

Without sounding cheesy. Art helps me breathe better.


The Hustle Myth

I used to believe I had to hustle 24/7 to ā€œmake it.ā€ But hustle often led to burnout, abandoned podcasts, failed coaster businesses, and YouTube courses that promised the world and delivered... affiliate links.

Now I believe something else.

As Picasso said, ā€œInspiration exists, but it has to find you working.ā€ So I show up to the studio. I make things. And I trust that while I’m working, the next step will become clear.


A Letter to Anyone Still Figuring It Out

If you’re reading this and feel stuck between your day job and your calling, you’re not alone. You don’t have to quit your job to be an artist. But don’t ignore the whisper either.

Draw. Paint. Write. Build something.

You might not be ready to leap. Maybe you’re supporting a family. Maybe you’re recovering from illness. Maybe you just don’t know how yet. That’s okay.

Start with this:

ā€œDon’t think about making art, just get it done. Let everyone else decide if it’s good or bad. While they are deciding, make even more art.ā€ — Andy Warhol

I’ll be here, doing the same.

Where do you want to go next?

I’ll see you in the comments!

SLART

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I write about Art Practice, AI, and Mindset. Notes from an Outsider Artist creating his own path.

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SLART | Outsider Artist šŸŽØ Art 🧠 Mindset šŸ¤– AI - Living the creative experiment.