I Painted Myself Naked and Didnāt Die (An Artistās Journey So Far)
TLDR: āI write about Art, AI, and Mindsetācreating the roadmap through my experiences that I wish I'd had as a young artist.ā
In 2019, I picked up a pen after 20 years of not drawing.
Why the gap? Because when I was 17, my art teacher told me I ācouldnāt draw large scale.ā I walked out of class and stopped creating. Itās wild how one sentence can sit on your shoulder like a curse.
Fast-forward two decades, and Iāve painted six murals in my hometown, held solo exhibitions, published a book, exhibited in Berlin, London, and beyond, and received an award from the Luxembourg Art Prize. My work has been sold on Artsy, and I even co-host a podcast (though Iām still a bit shy about interviews).
But Iām not a full-time artist. Not yet.
The Real Work
This is what I wrestle with: the double life of the modern creative. I work in tech and marketing by day, and I paint, write, and draw by night (or early mornings). Like many of you, I ride that weird loop of āI should be grateful for my jobā while feeling creatively starved. Thereās guilt in wanting more, isnāt there?
And yet, every time Iāve followed the tug ā whether itās painting a giant nude self-portrait (yes, really), or creating art while tethered to a dialysis machine ā Iāve found something that feels like truth.
Blue Man & Bloodlines
My art often comes from pain. āBloodlinesā was painted during dialysis, a time where my body was cold, my blood was being cleaned by a machine, and I disappeared into a phone screen to survive the four-hour cycles. I painted to process the vulnerability.
āBlue Manā came from deep insecurity. After seeing another artistās nude self-portrait ā complete with hyperreal genitals and strange symbolism ā I felt triggered. Angry. Jealous. It cracked open years of shame around my body. So I painted myself, naked, scarred, imperfect. And through the process, something softened.
Without sounding cheesy. Art helps me breathe better.
The Hustle Myth
I used to believe I had to hustle 24/7 to āmake it.ā But hustle often led to burnout, abandoned podcasts, failed coaster businesses, and YouTube courses that promised the world and delivered... affiliate links.
Now I believe something else.
As Picasso said, āInspiration exists, but it has to find you working.ā So I show up to the studio. I make things. And I trust that while Iām working, the next step will become clear.
A Letter to Anyone Still Figuring It Out
If youāre reading this and feel stuck between your day job and your calling, youāre not alone. You donāt have to quit your job to be an artist. But donāt ignore the whisper either.
Draw. Paint. Write. Build something.
You might not be ready to leap. Maybe youāre supporting a family. Maybe youāre recovering from illness. Maybe you just donāt know how yet. Thatās okay.
Start with this:
āDonāt think about making art, just get it done. Let everyone else decide if itās good or bad. While they are deciding, make even more art.ā ā Andy Warhol
Iāll be here, doing the same.
Where do you want to go next?
Iāll see you in the comments!
SLART
