If this masterpiece is too long for email, you can read it here in Substack. Or download the app.
Work is weird
You wake up at the same time every day
You eat breakfast at the same time every day
You eat the same breakfast every day
You commute at the same time every day
You drive the same route to and from work, every day.
Work is weird
You talk about the same things with colleagues
You say “Happy hump day” on Wednesdays
You say “Happy Friday” or worse “Happy Fri-YAY!” and live for the weekend
Then you try and make your weekends sound interesting when you return to work on a Monday
You get involved in work politics like it’s life or death.
Work is weird
If you don’t think it’s weird, you’ve been working too hard
You haven’t really thought about how odd it is
how much of an odd way it is to spend your life
It’s not odd for the man at the top making millions or even billions from your labour.
Work is weird
Repeat work for your whole life until you’re too decrepid to enjoy your time off.
You get bored, so you play golf if you can manage it.
Then you die.
Work is weird
What we call life is weird
Society gives us milestones that we feel like we have to adhere to
School
Graduation
First Job
First Car
Marriage
Buying a Home
Having Children
Celebrating milestone birthdays
Retirement
Work is weird
Isn’t it?
Is office work the most weird?
You sit hunched over a desk, looking at a screen for 8 hours a day
You send memes and chat to colleagues who are two desks away
You have meetings with who people like the sound of their own voices
You have meetings that are a waste of time
Most of them, are a waste of time
You have meetings that are 90% too long, when a few words would suffice.
Work is weird
At least working on a building site you’re using your body
No need to sign up for that gym membership that you never use
Building things, seeing buildings appear infront of your eyes
Then you go home, have a beer, eat snacks and watch TV.
Work is weird
You eat at your fucking desk like a moron
You’ve “got a lot on”, you’re “stacked”
Does the company care about you as much as you care about doing a good job?
Does the company care if you die at your desk?
No.
Well maybe for a week or so, then you’ll be forgotten.
Work is weird
You laugh at unfunny jokes
You think that your superiors are better than you
You write things like “Hope you are well” but you don’t really care
You passively agressively write “as per my last email” which means “did you not fucking read what I said in my last email? Idiot!”
You walk in the office door, make your morning coffee and sit at your desk. Every single day.
Work is weird
Work is purgatory while you wait to live
Work is purgatory while you wait to die
Work is purgatory for retirement
How weird is that?
Work is weird
Counting down the clock
Tick tock tick tock
off I pop
You whizz home with a momentary sense of freedom.
Work is weird
You’re free to leave at any time
But you’ve got responsibilites
Wife, Kids, Mortgage, Car, Holidays
“It’s easier to stay”
“I’ll give it a year”
Then you look around one day
and your boss is 25
and you’re 65.
Work is weird
You consider moving to another job
If you do leave you’ll be just like Phil
It’s groundhog day with a slight twist
It will feel shiny and new, for a while
But you’ll soon have that ache for something more.
Work is weird
“I must create a system, or be enslaved by another man's”
You plaster this quote everywhere
But you’re enticed by the simplicity of a paycheque
Your friends, family and peers agree
It’s too risky to start a your own thing
“We’re in a cost of living crisis”
“We’re in a recession”
“99.99999% of businesses fail”
“You’re not organised enough”
Work is weird
I must create a system, or be enslaved by another man's
Blake’s wise words.
The Man has created a system
You’re too lazy to do that
It’s easier to settle
You don’t hate your job
You don’t love your job
You don’t like your job either
"I'd rather hustle 24/7 than slave 9 to 5"
"Escape the ordinary"
"You are not a drop in the ocean. You are the entire ocean in a drop"
"The biggest adventure you can take is to live the life of your dreams"
"Change your 24 hours and you will change your life"
"Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking"
Quotes quotes quotes
They give you temporary relief
But what changes?
Nothing.
Work is weird
You get home from work
Loved ones ask “How was your day?”
You say “Oh, Not too bad”
That’s all you can muster
There’s nothing worth talking about that happened today
There never is.
Work is weird
If you missed hidden the link above, it was to this ephemeral piece from
that inspired this post. Enjoy.
Note: Photos from Canva pro, with a little bit of magic Slartdust ⭐ and a dash of Slartificial intelligence 🤖
Here’s part 2:
Work is weird (Part 2)
If this masterpiece is too long for email, you can read it here in Substack. Or download the app.
Today I drove a different route
I ate a different breakfast
At a different time
I feel alive.
I really enjoyed this in a masochistic way! The abstract nature of tech and office work is really disheartening. If I wire up a light, the light either comes on or it doesn't. If I build a wall, it's plumb and level, or it falls over. When is marketing, product management, sales, tech support, ever complete?